thatpetlossgirl

thatpetlossgirlthatpetlossgirlthatpetlossgirl

thatpetlossgirl

thatpetlossgirlthatpetlossgirlthatpetlossgirl
  • Home
  • Videos
  • More
    • Home
    • Videos
  • Home
  • Videos

Welcome!

Welcome!Welcome!Welcome!

Big love often creates big sorrow.
How can we find peace & healing after the loss of the ones we love so much? 

Pet Loss FAQ's
Pet Loss Resources

Welcome!

Welcome!Welcome!Welcome!

Big love often creates big sorrow.
How can we find peace & healing after the loss of the ones we love so much? 

Pet Loss FAQ's
Pet Loss Resources

Who is thatpetlossgirl?

I’m so glad you’ve arrived! My name is Ashley and I am extremely passionate about the human-animal bond.

 In our lives, we make so many connections that profoundly affect who we are, how we live, and have a direct correlation to our happiness. For many of us, those connections come in the form of animals. I am no exception to this. (Honestly, if you ask my husband he would tell you that I take this theory and run with it - HARD! )
Our pets become such a fundamental part of our lives. They become the first thing we do in the morning, the last thing we do before bed. They become the diary of our deepest secrets and the keeper of our tears. They're the reason we meet our steps for the day or the reason we get out of bed. Whatever the reason - they matter! When we lose them, there is a large part of our life that is left forever shifted and changed in the very moment of their loss. When we lose a human family member, other people run to you with sympathy and condolences. They come with casseroles and freezer meals and stacks of pamphlets for grief counseling to assist you through your time of mourning. In our society, however, we don't get that same level of support when we lose our beloved pet companions even though the emotion grief and torment can be just as profound. I've been through this many times. I have known many people who have been through this as well. In my 13 years working in veterinary medicine, I have held and cried with hundreds of families as we've said goodbye to their furry loved ones, however, it wasn't until the last year when I starting working in veterinary hospice and in-home euthanasia services when I realized how terribly unforgiving our society is to people who are grieving the loss of their sweet pets. I decided in this moment that if there was anything at all that my personal and professional experience could offer someone then I should put that out into the world. Your grief is valid. Your sadness is valid. It's not "just a dog/cat/pig/rabbit/bird/snake whatever" it's not "just" an anything. The fact of the matter is that YOU LOVED THEM and you have lost them. The world is telling you that you're grieving wrong and for that I am so deeply and truly sorry.

Let's Get Social

Please Support Us

Please Support Us

thatpetlossgirl is currently in the process of publishing pet loss books. Your contribution will enable us to take our words of warmth and healing and print them to the page. We are very grateful for your generosity.

Donate Now

Powered by

Pet Loss FAQ's

Please contact us if you cannot find an answer to your question.

 

Grief is the emotional reaction and response to loss whereas mourning is the actual process that one undertakes to navigate and deal with the changes and emptiness that is left by that loss. Mourning is the physical, mental, or emotional process of acclimating to adjusting and living life in the absence of your loved one. Ultimately, grief is what you feel and mourning is what you do.

What does this mean and why is this difference important? It's important because it means that while you will always grieve the loss of your loved one, your period of mourning will at some point end. You will never necessarily stop missing or loving them, however, you will eventually acclimate to living life in the physical absence of them. It's the science behind the phrase "there's light at the end of the tunnel" or "time heals all wounds". 

 I'd like to start by saying how much I absolutely HATE the phrase "get over it". For example, when you lose a beloved pet and several years go by and you're with some friends at the beach and a family walks by with a beautiful black female Great Dane who is the exact image of your Bella Dancerella and your heart lights up and breaks in half at the same time and then all of a sudden you're a 30 year old woman tearing up at the beach with her friends because she saw a dog. So you explain to your friends WHY you got emotional, right? Because she looked like Bella so surely they should understand but instead you get "Oh, wasn't that like 10 years ago? You're not over that yet?"
Ummm...no? I mean I love her. Present tense. I STILL love her. You don't just stop loving someone because they have passed away. So because you don't stop loving someone you don't ever get over loving them, right? So if you can't get over loving them how, exactly are you supposed to "get over" losing them? It gets better I promise! STAY WITH ME!
So here is the thing. I don't wake up and sob and actively grieve and mourn the loss of Bella every single day. I don't feel the achingly heavy weight other absence slowing me down the way it does when the loss is fresh and you're adapting to the adjustment of the freshly carved gaping hole in your heart. However, I miss her. I love her. And , sometimes, I think of her and cry. Sometimes I think of her and laugh. You will get to the point where you are able to move through the pain and sorrow and the devastation but you will never "get over" your loss and you shouldn't have to. I don't want to ever "get over" Bella. Because If I get over losing her does that not also mean I've gotten over loving her? 

 

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Ultimately, the same way the bond you had with your loved one was intensely personal and individualized to your specific relationship, so too will be your grief. Do NOT let others tell you how to grieve. Are you being healthy and taking care of yourself? Are you hurting  yourself or others? If you can appropriately answer those questions then it isn't any one's business but yours how you're choosing to grieve or to remember or mourn your pet. Period. 

​

Did you know that ancient Egyptians used to SHAVE OFF THEIR EYEBROWS when their beloved cats would pass away as a public indicator that they were in mourning. They would continue business as usual and walk around in public sans eyebrows as a public display of their loss and their personal grief. 

​

Do. Not. Let. Other. People. Tell. You. How. To. Grieve. The. Loss. Of. Your. Pet. 

​

Heal your heart, that's all that matters. 

 Grief is difficult in and of itself. As a parent, there is nothing more heartbreaking than watching your child suffer in any way and I am so sorry you are going through this. 

Believe it or not children of all ages are much more resilient and better equipped at handling things like death, grief, and loss than we are as adults sometimes. While I would never presume to tell a parent what to do with their own children, I can give some tips as to what has worked in my own home and in my experience helping other pet parent parents who have been in this situation. 

1.Be as honest as possible

2.Encourage your kiddo's to say goodbye - whatever this may look like for them! It DOES NOT need to be a physical goodbye!

3. Include the children in the process of the passing and/or euthanasia if possible whether that be verbally as part of the decision making process or physically during the actually visit.

4. Allow children to make their own choices as to how much or how little they wish to be involved in the process - and respect those choices!

5 - Allow time for grief and understand that grief will manifest differently for children than it will for adults. This is normal. 

Everyone is taught that angels have wings, but the lucky ones of us find they have four paws.

Pet Loss Support Blog

All resources provided are opinion based & are not affiliated with thatpetlossgirl in any way.

resources

Recommended Reading

Recommended Reading - Children

Recommended Reading - Children

 Have a recommended book? Let me know! My hope is that this list will continue to grow!


  •  When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing by Alan D. Wolfelt
  • Geriatric Dog Health & Care Journal: A complete toolkit for the geriatric dog caregiver (Old Dog Care and Pet Loss) - by Dr. Mary Gardner
  • Geriatric Cat Health & Care Journal: A complete toolkit for the geriatric cat caregiver (Old Cat Care and Pet Loss) - by Dr. Mary Gardner
  • It's Never Long Enough: A practical guide to caring for your geriatric dog (Old Dog Care and Pet Loss) - by Dr. Mary Gardner
  • The Pet Loss Companion: Healing Advice from Family Therapists Who Lead Pet Loss Groups by Dolan-Del Vecchio and Ken and Nancy Saxton-Lopez
  • The Loss of a Pet: A Guide to Coping with the Grieving Process When a Pet Dies by Wallace Sife


Recommended Reading - Children

Recommended Reading - Children

Recommended Reading - Children

Please do not hesitate to let me know if there have been any books helpful for your children on their path to healing!


  • Dog Heaven by Cynthia Ryland
  • Cat Heaven by Cynthia Ryland 
  • The Rainbow Bridge by Adrian Raeside
  • Children and Pet Loss: A Guide for Helping by Marty Tousley
  • Chuckie Says Goodbye by Amy Myers Jensen
  • Dear Brave Friend by Leigh Ann Gerk
  • Forever Friend: A children's guide and activity book for saying goodbye to a special dog (Old Dog Care and Pet Loss) - by Dr. Mary Gardner

Rainbow Bridge Raina

Recommended Reading - Children

Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice & In-home Euthanasia

 Losing a pet is incredibly difficult and can be quite lonely. Rainbow Bridge Raina's goal is to make the journey a bit less lonely, and to comfort you and maybe make you smile along the way. With her you will find one-of-a-kind gifts to give to yourself, or a loved one whose pet has left earth and gone to the Rainbow Bridge. She offers personalized rainbow bridge welcome and rainbow bridge check-in videos for your angel pet as well as pet loss support, guided meditation, support groups and more . 


*Watch as your angel arrives to the Rainbow Bridge, where they receive their wings & halo, their favorite treats, and are united with other angels from your family. Or you can find out what your pet has been up to at the Rainbow Bridge and receive a message of love from them delivered by Rainbow Bridge Raina, the Customer Support Rep for the Rainbow Bridge!


https://linktr.ee/RainbowBridgeRaina

Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice & In-home Euthanasia

Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice & In-home Euthanasia

Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice & In-home Euthanasia

 

Lap of Love is a network of veterinarians around the country with the goal of empowering every owner to care for their geriatric pets. Their philosophy centers around the human-animal bond and the need for that bond to be as undisturbed as possible during this most difficult time. The desire to bring this important service to families across the United States is slowly being realized as additional veterinarians begin working under the same philosophy.

​

Their website is phenomenal resource for Quality of Life determination and assessment and other information regarding hospice and end of life care for our pets.

Most impressive, however, is that they have an entire team dedicated to pet loss support and they are available to take your call LIVE 7am - 11pm EST!


 https://www.lapoflove.com/our-services/pet-loss-support 

The Living Urn

Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice & In-home Euthanasia

The Living Urn

 Honor a loved one when they pass on and celebrate all they’ve given us - the joy, the companionship, the love - and keep their memory present in our lives! Give back and grow a living memory with The Living Urn®.

​

There is an entire section dedicated to pet specific remains and the website is phenomenally detailed. For those families who would prefer the honor of a burial memorial but are only able to proceed with cremation services for whatever reason, options such as The Living Urn is an interesting way to honor your pet and provide a unique burial memorial via a bio urn & planting system designed to grow a beautiful, enduring memory tree, plant, or flowers with cremated remains! 


thelivingurn.com

Eterneva

Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice & In-home Euthanasia

The Living Urn

They deserve to be a diamond

This is for that once-in-a-lifetime pet. The pet that went through college and career changes with you. That saw you through tragedy, triumph and heartbreak. This is for your steadfast friend, who loved you unconditionally.

Eterneva wants to be a source of brightness for those coping with the death of a loved one. Through a collaborative and surprisingly uplifting process, they help families and friends honor the bright moments of a life. Meanwhile, the ashes of their loved one are evolving into a diamond that they’ll be able to hold close. 

 Design a diamond that uniquely tells your loved one’s story. Choose a color that reminds you of their eyes or that represents their one-in-a-million personality. As the final touch, they'll engrave their name on the diamond’s edge. 


https://eterneva.com/pets/


Share A Memorial

Every bond is so special and I'd be honored to learn about yours!

If you have a beloved pet that you wish to be honored on our memorial page let us know by clicking the submit memorial link. Please include the exact memorial message and one photo you wish you have included in the memorial. I look forwarded to learning of the bond you shared.

Submit Memorial

In Loving memory

In honor of Queenie

In honor of Queenie

In honor of Queenie

 

Most of us have lost a pet at some point and let's be real, it can hurt as much as losing a human depending on the human, sometimes more. The day I made the decision to euthanize my Queenie is still engrained in my memory; The struggle with whether or not it was the right thing to do, the emptiness I felt when I got home that evening and she didn't run to the door to greet me and the overall sadness when I realized that my little one-eyed girl was no longer with me feels like yesterday, not 8 years ago. I went to work immediately after and a patient asked me why I looked like I had been crying and I told him that I had just come from the vet and the decision that I made and he said, "it's just a dog." Anyone that has owned and truly loved a pet knows that they are more than just animals. The connections we share with them are as special and unique as they are. Just like my love for her, my memories of Queenie will remain safely protected forever in my heart. Sweet girl, I miss you always. 💜


-Shannon G.

In honor of Daisy

In honor of Queenie

In honor of Queenie



The sweetest, most lovable Dog a man could ever ask for!

Truly a man's best friend. She was always the Dog that wants to check up on you and also because she wanted the scratchems and she was so deserving of all the love, pets and hugs in the world because she just wasn't only a good puppers she waz da best puppers ever! She definitely was the kind of friend/family member that made life all that much sweeter and enjoyable🥰

My sweet Daisy Girl 💕


- Nathan L.



In honor of Bella

In honor of Queenie

In honor of Bella

 

In high school, my best friend called me and asked if I wanted to go to her boyfriends house because his dog just had puppies. Did I want to go see 2 day old Great Dane puppies? Uh, yeah! Of course I did! While we were there I fell in love with this teeny, tiny black female who was the runt of the litter. She had a little white spot on her neck in the shape of a diamond. Without even talking to my parents or anything I went to my bank and pulled out the cash and gave his parents the money to hold her for me so they wouldn't sell her. Flash forward 6 weeks and she came home!! She was the best dog I have ever had. She came to school with me and was our "pretend patient" for vet assisting classes. She accidentally broke my boyfriends nose rough housing on the bed. She used to run down the stairs so fast she would slide on the tile and crash into the wall full speed. She crossed the rainbow bridge over 10 years ago and I still think of the time she ate an entire plate of porkchops off the counter EVERY SINGLE TIME I cook them. I miss her every day. Love doesn't just go away and the same way I will never stop loving her I don't think I will ever truly stop missing her BUT I do know that she will always be with me in my heart and in my memories. Rest in peace my sweet Bella Dancerella.


Ashley - thatpetlossgirl


How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

A.A. Milne

Contact Us

Send Message

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Need to talk? Send me a message, I'd love to chat!

 PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a licensed mental health professional and highly encourage those who believe they are sincerely struggling to reach out for help from a professional if they feel they would benefit from doing so. However, I would be absolutely honored to meet you and learn more about the bond you shared with your pet.  

thatpetlossgirl

Professional Disclaimer

The Site and our mobile application may contain (or you may be sent through the Site or our mobile application) links to other websites or content belonging to or originating from third parties or links to websites and features in banners or other advertising. Such external links are not investigated, monitored, or checked for accuracy, adequacy, validity, reliability, availability, or completeness by us. WE DO NOT WARRANT, ENDORSE, GUARANTEE, OR ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ACCURACY OR RELIABILITY OF ANY INFORMATION OFFERED BY THIRD-PARTY WEBSITES LINKED THROUGH THE SITE OR ANY WEBSITE OR FEATURE LINKED IN ANY BANNER OR OTHER ADVERTISING. WE WILL NOT BE A PARTY TO OR IN ANY WAY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MONITORING ANY TRANSACTION BETWEEN YOU AND THIRD-PARTY PROVIDERS OF PRODUCTS OR SERVICES.


The Site cannot and does not contain pet loss support advice by a licensed mental health professional. The pet loss support information is provided for general informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of pet loss support advice. THE USE OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR OUR MOBILE APPLICATION IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 


Copyright © 2023 thatpetlossgirl - All Rights Reserved.

Powered by GoDaddy

This website uses cookies.

We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.

Accept